If I didn't already have about a jillion dogs, ( I don't really have that many, it just seems like it when I try to walk across the kitchen floor) I sometimes wonder if I'd do it all over again. That was my frame of mind when Inky, flanked by his army, came strutting into my little office yesterday evening. I saw them out of the corner of my eye, but I tried to ignore them. Inky jumped into my lap and gave me the evil eye.
"What? I'm reading! Can't you see that I'm busy?"
From the evil eyed one, "We must talk to you about a matter of great importance!"
"OK, all right, what's this one about? Did someone take Pancho's rubber ball and hide it again?"
Inky hopped down and circled the troops, who, by now, had been joined by Rags and Rosie. He stopped, turned, and gave me his most sinister stare. "We have a complaint. We were expecting individual beds when from PetSmart, but we got only one, and, since you have stopped our canned food, we feel that this is a violation of our agreement."
"The dry food you all get is a very good brand of dog food. I spent a lot of time trying to pick out the best one. I'm really surprised that you have a problem with it." I put on my most innocent, helpless look.
Pancho came over to Inky and growled something to him.
"What did he say?"
"He said, ‘We don't need no stinking dry food.'"
I thought, Pancho is beginning to look more and more like a Taco Bell hood ornament. "Well, what do you want from me? Do I look like Bill Gates? That much good quality canned food would cost a small fortune. I'll have to think about this."
Inky looked up and said, "Well, we wanted you to know that we are making this a ‘class action' type of effort and everyone wants to join in."
"CLASS ACTION? CLASS ACTION! I'm not going to let you watch that law program on TV any more! No more Court TV, either. What have I done to deserve this?"
Inky turned and huddled with his clients, then said, "Let's negotiate. How about mixing canned food with the dry food? We're agreeable to something like that."
He could see I was wavering. He jumped back into my lap, gave me a big nose kiss and said, "Deal or no deal?" He had me and he knew it. He told his pals and they all ran up and tried to climb up in my lap.
If I had it all to do over again, would I do it? Probably. But, with someone like Inky around, well . . .
Readers may contact John McCloskey by email at the following:
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John's latest books, WARRIOR CHING and INKY AND JOHN are available from all major online sources, or can be ordered from www.publishamerica.net
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